Girls can be mean
by FoRsak3n
Summary: Lock Tenten, Hinata, Sakura, Ino and Temari in a room together then stand back and watch the insults fly. Xx Total Crack! Dialogue fiction xX
1. Let the fun begin

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Naruto...

(( Dialogue fiction ))

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Chapter One: Let the fun begin...

"Ugh... so who's lame idea was this again?"

"Oh shut it, Temari! None of us want to be here just as much as you don't. Especially me... I mean, if I have to look at billboard-brow for another minute, I'm going to explode!"

"As if Ino-pig, just being in the same room with you makes me sick to my stomach!"

"Y-You guys, come on. L-Lady Tsunade thought t-that if we all spent some time together at a sleepover-"

"Pft. Sleepover Hyuuga? That wench you call Hokage locked us all in Tenten's apartment until morning. I hardly call that a sleepover."

"Knock it off, Temari! Don't you dare talk to Hinata-chan like that. You think I like having you in my apartment stinking up the place?! And if you call Lady Tsunade a wench one more time, I promise, you'll be eating one of my kunai as a midnight snack."

"Oooh, is that a threat? Ha! If I recall, you couldn't even land a scratch on me during the Chunnin exams. Just admit it, you're nothing compared to me."

"Feh... wanna try your chances against me without your precious fan backing you up?"

"T-Tenten-san, Temari, p-please don't fight..."

"See, Sakura, even Tenten can't stand the sand brat. It's a known fact that, Temari is just useless to try and get along with."

"What did you just call me, Yamanaka?"

"I called you a, Sand. Brat. I didn't stutter..."

"Oh, I'm a sand brat huh? Sure, that's a lot coming from the Konoha whore! I know you like Shikamaru now after failing with the Uchiha trash."

"Whore?! I don't know who you think you are, but I am _no_ whore! And for your information, I've had my eye on Shikamaru for awhile so he's rightfully mine!"

"Oi! Did you just call my Sasuke-kun trash?!"

"Yeah, I did. You wanna start something with me too, Haruno? If so, then let's hear it because I'm not afraid of you; I'm not afraid of someone who let's her teammates fight her own battles. At least the rest of us in this room hold our own..."

"Cut it out, now! God, Hinata-chan and I can't take much more of this. I swear, if I have to get my ass up and out of this chair, someone is going to answer to my unlimited arsenal. Have you forgotten that you're in _my _apartment? Meaning, I know where every hidden weapon, item, and tool is located so don't push your luck with me."

"Hmph, whatever. I'm going to bed."

"Good, the sand brat is going to bed. Now all I need is for forehead to vanish and I'll be all set."

"Is that so?! Well don't be surprised when you wake up tomorrow, Ino, and your head is shaved."

"You wouldn't dare, Sakura!"

"Try me..."

"Gah, and people wonder why I hang out with guys more. It's pretty obvious... I'd rather be a tomboy _any day_ than to put up with that type of bickering _everyday."_

"H-Hehe... r-really, Tenten-san? I-I thought that maybe y-you liked being around guys more because you like N-Nej-"

"What?! Hinata-chan, are you out of your mind! Okay, your forehead doesn't feel warm, but I still think that you're falling ill or something."

"Just admit it, Tenten; you like the cold hearted freak. Everyone can tell, even if you deny it."

"Ino-pig does have a point, Tenten. Not to mention that you're the only girl he talks to so the feelings must be mutual."

"I think you're _all_ crazy..."

"If you're talking about that other Hyuuga kid... he does have a nice butt if you think about it."

"I thought you were going to sleep, Temari. And he does have a name you know; it's Ne- Wait! Did you just say that he has a nice butt?!"

"How can I sleep with all this racket? And what if I did? If you don't like him, then you wouldn't care what I thought."

"I don't! I-It's just... ugh! I have nothing to prove to you."

"What now? Is the so called weapons mistress going to sulk about it?"

"T-Tenten-san, T-Temari didn't mean it. P-Please put down the s-scythe."

"Ha, you really pushed her buttons this time sand brat."

"Please, like I'm scared of Te-"

"T-Tenten-san, put down the sickle t-too. And the shuriken... u-um, is that a senbon?"

"I'm not putting down my senbon."

"You know, chewing on the needle like that will eventually rot your teeth out. It's a wonder Genma-sama still has his teeth."

"I know that, Haruno. Though, Genma-sama really isn't all that bad to be honest, and neither is Kotesu or Izumo. Actually, most of the older Chunnin and Jounin are pretty nice if you get to know them."

"Wow, is there anyone from this village in the male gender that you _don't_ speak with, Tenten? You're better with guys than I am... and you don't even try."

"Billboard-brow, in order for her to be _better_ than you, that would actually require you having skills with men in the first place. Which we all know by now that you have absolutely no skills in that area..."

"Oh, and like you do?!"

"Haruno, I'm not better with guys or whatever it was you said, I just don't throw myself at them like a fangirl would. It _is_ possible for me to be friends with a guy without having a crush on him..."

"Maybe you should listen to her Ino-pig instead of chasing after-"

"Like you're any better?!"

"...You leaf nin are giving me a headache."

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(( A/N: Yes, there's a chapter two to this. That story was basically using the same concept I had with my other dialogue story; _'He does What exactly', _which is also a total crack fic. ))


	2. Chapter Two, Weee!

Disclaimer: Still don't own Naruto people...

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Chapter Two, Weee!

"U-Uh?"

"Hm? What is it Hinata-chan, is something wrong?"

"O-Oh, it's nothing, Tenten-san. I-It's just... I thought I heard something..."

"You know, she might have something there. I thought I heard something making this type of bumping sound earlier."

"Ino, you're just hearing things- Wait, I hear it too now. It sounds weird... like, a muffled sound. Tenten, do you have pets?"

"I told you I heard something, Sakura!"

"No, I don't even own a goldfish, but I definitely hear what you're talking about. Someone hand me the flashlight."

"I'll get it Tent- Ow! Ino, you did that on purpose!"

"Yamanaka, I said give me the flashlight, not hit Sakura in the back of the head with it when you're reaching over to hand it to me."

"Woops. It just, you know, slipped out of my hand."

"Yeah, well, when I get my hands on you; you'll think slipped!"

"Shh! Will you two be quiet and follow me. Come on..."

"T-Tenten-san is right, we n-need to keep quiet so we can listen."

"Pft, why don't we just cut the lights on _then_ go and take a look?"

"Because, genius, if we do that, it would let whatever or whoever it is know we're coming. God, you don't use your head do you, Temari? Talk about giving a new definition to ditsy blondes."

"You want to say that to my face, bun-girl?"

"Bun girl? Are you serious... is that the best you could do, Temari?"

"Shut up, Tenten. It's four in the freaking morning... I'm tired."

"Fine, whatever. Let's all just go and see what that sound is so we can get some sleep..."

"W-We're right behind y-you, Tenten-san."

"Did you hear that? It sounded- Uff! Hey, will you guys watch where you're going..."

"S-Sorry, T-Tenten-san, Ino bumped into m-me."

"Hey, it's not my fault... I can't help it, Hinata. I can't see anything in front of me and- OW! Sakura, will you stop stepping my my heels?"

"Maybe if, Temari would stop gouging my arm with what ever is in her hand, then I wouldn't have to step so close to you. What is that anyways.. wait, is that a... You're poking me with a kunai?!"

"Yes, yes I am..."

"Will you three grow up... jeez, is it just Hinata and myself acting our ages here?"

"W-Well, you a-are the oldest T-Tenten-san..."

"Huff, just because I'm the oldest doesn't mean I have to babysit three children, Hinata-chan."

"I-I... I hadn't t-thought of that."

"Hey, Tenten, I think I know where that sound coming from. Can I see the flashlight?"

"Sure, I'll toss it to you, Sakura; here."

"Okay, I'm pretty sure it's coming from- Ugh, Ino; would you move your fat head so I can shine the light in that direction."

"You're just jealous, Sakura, because you know that if the light shined on _your_ face, your large forehead would reflect it and blind everyone in here."

"...This is amusing."

"Your face is amusing, Temari."

"I'm going to pretend like I didn't hear that, Tenten."

"Feh, pretend all you like."

"Oh yeah, look who is starting things now; and after her lovely little speech about babysitting us."

"I gave up trying to get you to act your ages, Yamanaka; so I might as well throw a few insults of my own in here and there."

"You know... tonight really hasn't been all _that_ bad. We should do this again sometime, because it's kind of funny watching Tenten and Temari argue actually."

"Not as amusing as watching you leaf ninja bicker about foolish things such as your looks, Haruno."

"Y-Yeah, we really s-should do this again. It's nice t-to just get out of the h-house."

"Alright, fine. We'll do this again sometime, but first, will someone please tell me what is in my apartment making that god awful noise."

"Oh, that's right. I almost forgot, Tenten. Sorry... but, like I was saying. I think that it's coming from, inside that closet."

"Okay, I'll open the door while Sakura shines the light and you guys corner who or what it is."

"Got it, Ino. Hinata-chan, Temari, are you ready? We'll do this on three... Three! Grab it and- Oh. My. God..."

"Uh, Tenten? Do you always keep naked guys gaged and tied up in your closet?"

"Temari, if I did... don't you think I would have someone _else _locked in there? Wait, what was that loud thump just now?"

"You guys, uh, Hinata just passed out."

"Are you serious, Ino?!"

"Dead serious... you think I'd lie about something like that, Sakura?"

"NARUUUUUUTO!"

"Um, hey, Sakura. I think he gets the point now.. you can uh, you can stop at any time."

"Tenten, I think he got the point after receiving eighty punches to the face. Now, I think she's just punishing him for making her look at him naked."

"Yeap, I think Temari is right about this one, Tenten."

"Okay, I'm done now."

"You feel better, Haruno?"

"So much better, Temari."

"I say we just shut the door and leave him in there until morning. Someone help me drag Hinata-chan back into the living room and we'll force Tsunade-sama to retrieve him tomorrow. Though, I honestly have no idea how he got into my apartment; nor do I even _want _to know why he's naked."

"Heh, someone gift wrapped him for you, Tenten. Alright though, I'll help with Hinata; Sakura and Temari, are you two coming?"

"Ha. Ha, very funny, Yamanaka. And if you can't tell... that was sarcasim there. Why on Earth would I want _Naruto_ naked in my closet?"

"Hehehe, I'm right behind you guys."

"Yeah, I'm coming too, Yamanaka..."

_--_

"Haha, this must be my lucky day. Alright, Shizune, pay up."

"Ayieeeeeee! But Lady Tsunade!"

"Shizune, have you forgotten our little wager? You said the girls' would set him loose after finding him and from the looks of things, that's not going to happen."

"I-I remember, Lady Tsunade, but still... should we be spying on them like this? And what about poor Uzumaki; wasn't that punishment a little harsh? Did he have _have_ to be naked?"

"Shizune, first he's disobeying my direct orders, then the next thing you know, he'll be the spitting image of that fool, Jiraiya. It's better to teach him now that messing with women will only result in a pounding."

"Disobeying direct orders, Lady Tsunade? All he did was-"

"Shizune! Do you question my actions?"

"N-No, Lady Tsunade! Of course not!"

"Good. We'll call it a night and let Naruto out in the morning... Let's go Shizune."

"C-Coming, Lady Tsunade!"

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(( A/N: Haha, okay, there you have it. My little crack, dialogue fiction of having the girls forced to put up with each other for an entire night. So what did you think, were you expecting the ending? Review and let me know how you thought the story was... even it's it's something simple review like, 'good job'; I'm a review freak. The smallest things excite me. ))


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